Thursday, November 10, 2011

The Mean Girl Syndrome

Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can forever hurt me...





The first thing most people think of when they hear the term bullying is physical violence such as pushing or shoving, yelling, or name-calling. These are the visible methods of bullying that are common among young boys (1). In recent years however, research has shown that the face of bullying is changing (1). In addition to these traditional forms of bullying an unseen, concealed method is developing (1). This form of bullying is common amongst young girls and centers around behaviour that is intended to hurt another by harming his/her relationships with others (1). The person doing the bullying usually targets their friends, and engages in the behaviour to make themself feel better at someone else’s expense (2). This bullying has both short and long term consequences, and can be in some cases more harmful and scarring then physical bullying (1). Furthermore, this form of bullying often goes unnoticed, and without consequence, as it is done in a quite and covert manner. It is vital that children, parents, and teachers are all aware of this form of bullying, and are educated on what it looks like, and how to deal with it!


What does it look like?
  • Gossiping
  • Spreading rumours
  • Ignoring
  • Staring
  • Giving nasty looks
  • Exclusion from a friendship group
  • Isolation
  • Alienation
  • Stealing friends/boyfriends

What are the short and long-term consequences?

  • Destroy the self-image of the victim
  • Increased feelings of loneliness
  • Peer rejection
  • Anxiety
  • Depression
  • Low self-esteem
  • Refusal to attend school/desire to transfer schools
  • Affects ability to learn and grow
  • Victims feel severely traumatized or distressed
  • Suicide

Why does it go without consequence?

  • Often misinterpreted as squabble between friends
  • Hard to find the source of gossip or rumours
  • Emotional abuse is harder to prove
  • Girls sometimes see it as acceptable and a part of ‘growing up’

How can we stop this problem

  • Encourage a respectful school environment
  • Educate girls in healthy self-esteem and relationships
  • Encourage conflict resolution at an early stage
  • Encourage children to identify their role or roles in their group of friends—provide them with advice on how to set the right example for all their friends
  • Do not dismiss the bullying as part of growing up
  • Be aware that you might be modeling social bullying for your child
  • Find unique ways to involve children who are socially isolated in group activities
  • Be aware that bullies come in all shapes and sizes
  • Focus on the students who are bystanders—provide them with tools to disarm the bully and protect the target



For more information about bullying visit http://www.bullying.org/


Posted by Natalie Rice.


References:

(1) O'Neil, S. (2008). Bullying by tween and teen girls: A literature, policy and resource review. The Society for Safe and Caring Schools and Communities.

(2) It's a girls world. (2004). A documentary about social bullying. Retrieved November 10, 2011, from http://films.nfb.ca/itsagirlsworld/GirlsWord.html





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