CYBERBULLYING: A New Type of Bullying?

Are cyberbullies the new type of bullies?

According to i-SAFE [1] bullying is no longer about the strong picking on the weak in the schoolyard. With the rapidly growing and easy use of technology, students now have access to instant messaging (text messaging or online), e-mails, chat rooms, and websites such as Facebook and Twitter to humiliate a peer. Statistics have shown that 21% of kids have received mean or threatening e-mails or other messages but what is more shocking is that 53% of kids have admitted having said something mean or hurtful to another person online and more than 1 in 3 have done it more than once. Cyberbullying can be seen as worse than regular physical and verbal bullying at school. This is because cyber bullying does not end at school, it can stick with the child 24 hours a day. In many cases kids often change roles, going from victim to bully and back again [2]. Cyberbullying is usually not a one time communication incidence, it is usually an ongoing process over time [2]. In some instances this has gotten to the extreme where children have committed suicide [2].

Why kids cyberbully:

• Motivated by anger, revenge or frustration
• Entertainment due to boredom
• Technology is available to them
• For laughs or to get a reaction
• To torment others and ego
• To remind others of their own social standing
• Think they are righting wrongs and standing up for others

Everyone's motive are different, there is no "one size fits all" when it comes to cyberbullying. Motives, nature of cybercommunications, demographic and profile of a cyberbully usually differ from their offline counterpart. Which means that anyone can be a cyberbully because the stereotypes are not there.

How to prevent cyberbullying:

• Educate kids about the consequences (losing their accounts)
• Teaching them to respect others
• Keep personal information private
• Take a stand against bullying of all kinds
• Teach kids to not stand silently while others are being bullied
• Have the parents be the one trusted place kids can go to talk about bullying
• Step away from the computer or cellphone
• Avoid the overuse of social media

STOP! BLOCK! and TELL!

STOP! - Don't do anything. Take 5 minutes to calm down.

BLOCK! - Block the cyberbully or limit all communications to those on your friend list.

TELL! - Tell a trusted adult, you don't have to face this alone.

DON'T BE THE PROBLEM, BE THE SOLUTION!

Information and Help:

• http://www.antibullying.net/
• http://www.stopcyberbullying.org/index2.html
• http://www.isafe.org/channels/sub.php?ch=op&sub_id=media_cyber_bullying
• http://kidshelpphone.ca/Teens/InfoBooth/Bullying.aspx?gclid=CLOu0vzHvqwCFawaQgodDn5Hnw
• You can call Kids Help Phone at 1-800-668-6868

By: Jaime Yen

References:

[1] i-SAFE. (2009). iSAFE The Leader in e-Safety Education. Retrieved November 17, 2011, from http://www.isafe.org/channels/sub.php?ch=op&sub_id=media_cyber_bullying

[2]STOP Cyberbullying. (2011). STOP Cyberbullying. Retrieved November 16, 2011, from http://www.stopcyberbullying.org/index2.html

The Mean Girl Syndrome

Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can forever hurt me...





The first thing most people think of when they hear the term bullying is physical violence such as pushing or shoving, yelling, or name-calling. These are the visible methods of bullying that are common among young boys (1). In recent years however, research has shown that the face of bullying is changing (1). In addition to these traditional forms of bullying an unseen, concealed method is developing (1). This form of bullying is common amongst young girls and centers around behaviour that is intended to hurt another by harming his/her relationships with others (1). The person doing the bullying usually targets their friends, and engages in the behaviour to make themself feel better at someone else’s expense (2). This bullying has both short and long term consequences, and can be in some cases more harmful and scarring then physical bullying (1). Furthermore, this form of bullying often goes unnoticed, and without consequence, as it is done in a quite and covert manner. It is vital that children, parents, and teachers are all aware of this form of bullying, and are educated on what it looks like, and how to deal with it!

What does it look like?

• Gossiping
• Spreading rumours
• Ignoring
  
• Staring
• Giving nasty looks
• Exclusion from a friendship group
• Isolation
• Alienation
• Stealing friends/boyfriends

What are the short and long-term consequences?

• Destroy the self-image of the victim
• Increased feelings of loneliness
• Peer rejection
• Anxiety
• Depression
• Low self-esteem
• Refusal to attend school/desire to transfer schools
• Affects ability to learn and grow
• Victims feel severely traumatized or distressed
• Suicide

Why does it go without consequence?

• Often misinterpreted as squabble between friends
• Hard to find the source of gossip or rumours
• Emotional abuse is harder to prove
• Girls sometimes see it as acceptable and a part of ‘growing up’

How can we stop this problem

• Encourage a respectful school environment
• Educate girls in healthy self-esteem and relationships
• Encourage conflict resolution at an early stage
• Encourage children to identify their role or roles in their group of friends—provide them with advice on how to set the right example for all their friends
• Do not dismiss the bullying as part of growing up
• Be aware that you might be modeling social bullying for your child
• Find unique ways to involve children who are socially isolated in group activities
• Be aware that bullies come in all shapes and sizes
• Focus on the students who are bystanders—provide them with tools to disarm the bully and protect the target

For more information about bullying visit http://www.bullying.org/

Posted by Natalie Rice.

References:

(1) O'Neil, S. (2008). Bullying by tween and teen girls: A literature, policy and resource review. The Society for Safe and Caring Schools and Communities.

(2) It's a girls world. (2004). A documentary about social bullying. Retrieved November 10, 2011, from http://films.nfb.ca/itsagirlsworld/GirlsWord.html

Dealing with Bullies

Bullies, many of us had to deal with them at one point in time during grade school. Studies estimate that at some point, 30 per cent of children were victims of bullying or have bullied others, or both (1). In fact, it is estimated that bullying incidents happen in an average school, every seven minutes and lasts about 37 seconds (1). Bullying can be in many forms, such as hitting, kicking, swearing, teasing, mocking, and various other behaviours that can leave the victim scared, withdrawn, or depressed (1). Bullying could have serious consequences later in life as well as one expert points out: "... children who learn how to acquire power through aggression on the playground may transfer these lessons to sexual harassment, date violence, marital abuse, child abuse, and elder abuse." (1).

There are effective ways of dealing with bullies and it is important to talk to your kids early even before bullying starts. Parents can start by engaging in an imaginary confrontation by acting out a bullying scene. It is important to encourage your child to look at you straight in the eye and talk in a convincing manner as he or she deal with your bullying tactics (2). Since many bullies wants to see an emotional distress from their victims, advise your children not to give an emotional reaction.

When a child starts school have a talk regularly to see if he or she is being bullied by somebody. Victims of bullies often tend not to tell teachers or parents as they are afraid of retaliation from the bully (3). If you find your child is being bullied, think of solutions together such as ignoring it at first. If problem persist, explore solutions such as standing up for himself/herself in non-violent ways or notifying a responsible adult as soon as bullying begins. It's important to include the child to be part of the solution as many victims of bullying lose a sense of power and if parents take over completely, it will only reinforce the helplessness (3). It's important to stress that bullying should not be met with violence. Violence may make the matter worse or even turn the victim into the person doing the bullying. Most bullies expect physical retaliation but when victims respond with words or with a clever joke, the bully often gets distracted and according to John Coie, a Duke University psychologist, distracted bullies drop the pursuit three out of four times (2).

After exploring solutions together, always ask your child to see if there is something you can do as a parent. If your child says no, honour it, but if he/she seems unsure or says "I don't know" it often means yes in which case a talk with a teacher may be necessary. In extreme cases where a child is significantly injured by a bully or is experiencing severe emotional distress to attend school because schools officials have not taken care of the problem despite opportunities, law enforcement authorities may have to be contacted to intervene.

School is a place where students learn a lot of things, not just math, arts and history, but also about how to interact with other and also about coping with difficulties and hardships. Don't be too alarmed when you initially find out your child is being bullied. Although the matter should be taken seriously and firmly, it may act as a huge learning experience for your child in coping and dealing with the baddies in which surely we will all have to face again and again in some shape or form in our lifetime.

For more information regarding dealing with bullies visit:

http://kidshealth.org/parent/emotions/behavior/bullies.html

http://www.stopbullying.gov/

http://www.bullyingcanada.ca/index.php

1. Anne Trueman, "School can be scary for victims of bullies: Youth violence still not taken taken seriously enough, experts say: [Final Edition]" The Vancouver Sun, August 15, 2002, E1.

2. "Beating the Bullies: Teaching a youngster to act assertively can be solution to a school dilemma: Bullies: Take a cue from child's reaction to the incident: [1* Edition]" The Vancouver Sun, March 26, 1993, C8.

3. Norma Fitzpatrick-Bailey, "Standing up to bulles; Calm resolve, working with parents will give victimized children tools to fight back" The Vancouver Sun, March 30, 2009, C.4